Day 1 - Choosing To be Right Instead of Choosing the Relationship by Natalie Snapp

Day 1 - Choosing To be Right Instead of Choosing the Relationship by Natalie Snapp

Choosing To Be Right Instead of Choosing the Relationship "You have heard the law that say punishment must match the injury: 'An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But I say, do not resist an evil person. If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also." - Matthew 5:38-45   My ears were buzzing and my mind was foggy. My stomach began to feel like it had been watching my son’s gymnastics class a little too closely.   And I had to resist the urge to hold up my hands, declare defeat and run to my bed where I could safely throw the covers over my head and hide from the world.   Careless words that crossed my lips had hurt my friend and I cannot, CANNOT, stand when someone is upset with me.   Of course, this isn’t realistic because I have three children and a husband – retreating from the world won’t really work for us. I can’t imagine what my house would look like or what my kids would wear while I was gone.   Which means, at some point in my life, I would have to see the friend I had offended again.   I could sweep it under the rug and act like nothing happened but then ... I’m not taking ownership of my offense. My lack of humility would damage our friendship even more than those careless words.   When we are able to say “I was wrong, please forgive me,” we reveal our emotional maturity.  Humility is the key that unlocks the door to authentic and safe relationships. Being humble doesn't only mean you don't toot your own horn. It means you accept you will mess up from time to time and might need to apologize for it to boot. It means going to someone in a non-accusatory manner to seek understanding without assuming you have done nothing wrong and being willings to own your part and move towards reconciliation. (Heart Sisters, p.69) Why do conflicts even have to happen in the first place? To quote Rodney King, why “Can’t we all just get along?” And why do we need to talk it through? Can’t we just ignore it?   Conflict happens in any deeper-level relationship. Think about it: you don’t really get into emotional disagreements with people you don’t know very well, right? In fact, the closer we are to a person, the higher the likelihood is for conflict.   We are all, every single one of us, disabled by the flesh. Our very own sinful nature has more of an influence in our relationships than we often realize.   So many families and friendships divide over disagreements. We want to be “right” and “win” the argument – even at the cost of the relationship. Choosing to be right instead of choosing the relationship is always wrong.   Jesus seemed to understand this battle. When He gave the Sermon on the Mount, He spoke of revenge when he talked about turning the other cheek.   Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean you are a doormat or you allow other people to take advantage of you. It simply means you value your relationships more than being right and you are humble, have self-control and are emotionally safe.   When others realize you are emotionally safe, Heart Sister relationships will bloom. (and really, any relationship. This works in your marriage, too!)   It’s easier to act like nothing happened in the here-and-now; however, when small conflicts go unchecked, they can add-up to one big conflict. Big conflicts lead to big drama.   But if you are like me, maybe you’re petrified at the thought of having a hard conversation with a friend? Maybe you aren’t the offender but the one who was offended? Then what do you say? We’ll talk about this tomorrow, friend. In the meantime, let’s close with a key lesson and a prayer. Humility shows the world we understand we aren’t always going to be right. It also displays that we can “own-up” to our missteps. As you go about your day today, notice your own ability to be humble. Do you notice when you’re wrong? Can you freely take responsibility for when you are? When we can practice humility in the everyday, we are more apt to use it during the times when it matters most. Dear Lord, please help me to remember that you are a just God and you will seek justice on my behalf – I don’t have to do it myself. Please provide those gentle nudges when I start to choose being right over relationships and show me ways in which I can be more humble in my day-to-day life so it becomes a part of who I am. Mold me, refine me, teach me, Lord. Amen. Have you ever been hurt by a friend? Struggled to balance friendship with everyday life, or experienced a friendship "break-up?" Friendships with other women are as important to our mental, physical and spiritual health as rest, exercise and prayer. We don’t just want friends – we need friends. Yet sometimes they can be as difficult as singing a song without the lyrics.   Heart Sisters will help you:   Overcome your fear of being hurt by other women, Practically examine issues so you can work your way through conflicts, Recognize when it’s time to establish healthy – and holy – boundaries, Get right with God so you can get right with others, and Discover the secret to authentic friendships.   With discussion questions and real-life examples, Heart Sisters will help you be the friend you want to have.   “Heart Sisters is a beautiful reminder of how powerful walking hand in hand with a loyal friend can be. After reading this book, your heart will long to be this kind of God-honoring friend. Thank you, Natalie, for the charge to sacrificially love and serve our friends.” - Lysa TerKeurst, New York Times best-selling author of The Best Yes and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries.